PROCESS NOTES
There’s something quite exciting about taking a deep breath before jumping into a night in the studio. It’s the equivalent to cracking your knuckles before playing piano. It’s the equivalent to tuning in to a favourite playlist or radio station before a drive. To be honest, I do all of these three things before I start a long night of painting and unrestrained chaos.
I never quite have a plan when I begin creating. Sometimes I have an idea of a motif or a colour palette that’s been catching my eye, things like that. Mere ideas. But I never have a checklist or anything. It keeps it electric, like when you’re having a conversation with someone and come to a topic that’s uncharted territory for the two.
Last night while painting I only had one goal: to make something. Anything.
I find that peace when I lift the boundaries of expectations and focus on just exerting energy and translating the buzz onto a piece. There’s a comforting feeling in cutting up 50 pieces of paper and allowing oneself to completely disregard success while working. I don’t expect to make a master work on this forgotten, 140LB sheet I tore up 10 minutes prior. What I do hope is to explore something totally unique on each sheet. Tones, shapes, strokes, marks, flows, and everything in between.
Sometimes I’ll lock myself in my studio for sessions that go on for hours and hours. Days, if allotted. After reintroducing myself tot he world, my friends undoubtedly ask what I had been working on.
“Nothing!” i say.
“Nothing?” they say.
“Nothing.” I confirm.
But they know my intent by now. They know what I mean when I happily tell them I have created absolutely nothing useful at all within that time.
It’s all about the process. It’s always been about the process. I suppose I shouldn’t say that, I lied. It hasn’t always been about process. But it SHOULD always be about process. Undoubtedly when I started painting my focus was on making “good” art. The more I tried to create aesthetically beautiful art pieces, the better artist I was becoming! At least that was my logic. After becoming comfortable with my tools and learning to trust the process, I realized the excitement and rush that followed after I focused on my message and the physicality of the mediums I’m using.
It’s addictive.
I find such peace in those chaotic studio days. Maybe I end up painting, maybe I end up using power tools, maybe I end up smashing and destroying something.
I urge you to allow yourself the safe space to create something completely unexpected and without judgement. When people ask, call it experimenting. It makes you sound less deranged.
Catalina Penagos Soto